Writing this one purely to get some emotions out of my system –Flushing them out.
There are millions of serials depicting dramatically the stages of a girl’s life.
So my blog doesn’t really talk about something new.
The topic is general , thoughts are purely as seen by me.
I recently attended a very close sister/friend’s wedding.
All through the ceremony I had a tough time emotionally.
Not only on putting myself in her shoes as she gradually saw her world slipping off her hand, every tear of her was heart felt by me more because of my attachment to her.
It’s so very simple a process ‘Wedding’ after which a girls world undergoes this big big change.
True she gets/foresees another world approaching….a world which promises a lot of happiness.
Nevertheless that one delicate moment is so hard to handle.
Where even a minute thing like your room does not stay yours anymore.
While going to the party venue you go as one lot and when you do return you do as a guest under your own roof.
So much for the materialistic stuff, talk about the relationships-the feeling is immense.
One day one friend or sister or family member is top on your priority list and the next you have loads more to take care of.
I would want to confess that I felt like a typical mom may feel on getting her daughter wed as after the wedding the daughter is completely son in law’s.
Harsh but true it’s a tough thing to practically detach from one home and link to another.
No matter how long you have been out of house for your studies or work.
Such is the intensity of emotional entanglement we attain by birth.
Had people been married right from birth world would be different ;) :D.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
The loneliness in me
I am not a loner.
Always found with friends and colleagues.
Hardly get the time to analyze what I am making of myself.
Yet in this busy life of mine whenever I observe myself I encounter this strange loneliness in me.
The moment i see it,i tend to tell it –‘Hey you really don’t belong to me’.
But alas it sticks there like a parasite, unmovable ,unquestinable,untraceably mine.
I often think to myself when everything is so logical in this world,there has to be some reason for its origin.
The question however lives an endless life.
Even when I walk a crowded street and I see people rush across.
Each one with their own story of happiness, own reasons of sadness and yet I see them carry this same loneliness in them.
Another series of question flow in , do they know of it? Or is it something I am imagining ?
Have never seen anyone talk of a thing like this.
Or does all this somehow goes unsaid?
Itz not about the vaccum that comes from some deep loss.
I am truly blessed with a loving family and friends,a nice job.
Life is perfect in everyway but yet this unreasonable little thing troubles me in a mysterious way.
Another wise thought i recall--
'A weakness when confessed remains weakness for no long'
I again make an attempt to face it upfront.
I concede to it ,tell myself that there is surely something wrong.
Plant a plan to remove this unwelcomed guest.
A little sweet moment with someone close will do me good.
Wash my face to shed off the painful thought but while i look at the face in the mirror
I still see the lonly me.
Then one cold morning i come across an old lady
Shivering to the wind that sway
Her eyes asking me for help
Although scared of a stranger, i ask her if she would like some tea.
A smile lit her face
and while that happened i was surprized to see
my unpleasing partner part his way
it's only then i understood a reason to the blankness i faced
The only solution to the emptness i felt
was to let humanity come into me and stay
For everything i ever did had a selfish end to it.
The little act of kindness
transformed the isolated me
into a ME i internally longed to be.
Always found with friends and colleagues.
Hardly get the time to analyze what I am making of myself.
Yet in this busy life of mine whenever I observe myself I encounter this strange loneliness in me.
The moment i see it,i tend to tell it –‘Hey you really don’t belong to me’.
But alas it sticks there like a parasite, unmovable ,unquestinable,untraceably mine.
I often think to myself when everything is so logical in this world,there has to be some reason for its origin.
The question however lives an endless life.
Even when I walk a crowded street and I see people rush across.
Each one with their own story of happiness, own reasons of sadness and yet I see them carry this same loneliness in them.
Another series of question flow in , do they know of it? Or is it something I am imagining ?
Have never seen anyone talk of a thing like this.
Or does all this somehow goes unsaid?
Itz not about the vaccum that comes from some deep loss.
I am truly blessed with a loving family and friends,a nice job.
Life is perfect in everyway but yet this unreasonable little thing troubles me in a mysterious way.
Another wise thought i recall--
'A weakness when confessed remains weakness for no long'
I again make an attempt to face it upfront.
I concede to it ,tell myself that there is surely something wrong.
Plant a plan to remove this unwelcomed guest.
A little sweet moment with someone close will do me good.
Wash my face to shed off the painful thought but while i look at the face in the mirror
I still see the lonly me.
Then one cold morning i come across an old lady
Shivering to the wind that sway
Her eyes asking me for help
Although scared of a stranger, i ask her if she would like some tea.
A smile lit her face
and while that happened i was surprized to see
my unpleasing partner part his way
it's only then i understood a reason to the blankness i faced
The only solution to the emptness i felt
was to let humanity come into me and stay
For everything i ever did had a selfish end to it.
The little act of kindness
transformed the isolated me
into a ME i internally longed to be.
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