Thursday, August 25, 2016

That person called Friend

It took my little niece fraction of a second to answer my question: "What is your friend's name?". She did not have to think much to take the names of few of her classmates. More than my question, her quick answer got me thinking—do we all realize the value and feel the worth of this no-string-attached-yet-powerful-relation called “friendship”?

I cannot recall at what age I first realized that this is the one main relationship we earn in life, all others being blood relationships (by birth) or destined (related to partner, as we particularly believe in India). It is indeed true that we make many friends, almost at every stage of our life. Triggers for this bond of friendship could be a common interest, similar thoughts and various other things. Sometimes this bond is very casual and need-based—something like a social requirement, something that helps us fight boredom. However, there are some bonds which grow into something special and nurture into very beautiful relationships for life. It is these attachments that amaze me the most and I treat them as real "friendship". This friendship is unconditional; it isn’t need-based and most importantly, it is forever!

Feeling the pain of another person even though this person is not part of your family (extended or acquired) seems like the most unselfish feeling. People who feel so for someone or have someone who feels like that for them are very lucky.

While a true friendship is very special, in today’s fast-paced world, the bond sometimes turns out to be fragile, easy to neglect and caught in ego/misunderstandings. In our chase of life—running behind money, fame, family, fun etc. we tend to miss out on that person whose shoulder we last cried on, that person who celebrated our happiness like his/her own, that person who danced on our wedding, that person who advised us when we most needed it... if reading these lines gives a name to "that person", break the ice and reach out to your friend RIGHT AWAY!

The new-age disease called depression/stress is growing like plague especially in middle-aged people. By means of this illness which primarily stems from our own insecurities in this urban rat race, where we run after money and materialistic happiness all the time, we are giving way to multiple money making institutions which make use of our emotional weakness. The best cure to it might be an answer to the same simple question I asked my niece: "What is your friend's name?". You surely will have one that rings a bell. The number doesn’t matter. It’s the feeling that matters. It’s the bond that matters .Such is the power of this person called friend.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Rising from the ashes ...



Best way to tackle a problem is facing it head-on.
Easier said than done! 
We all have our share of hardships and to us, our own trouble seems the worst.

I am, in general a very optimistic person.
The jovial social kinds, the one you will always see smiling.
There was however this time, roughly for a year where I went through a bad phase, a personal problem became so heavy on me that it changed my way of living.


I tried my best to face the situation, all efforts put trying to resolve it but no matter what I did I failed.
The sadness gradually caught hold of me, growing like fungus, expanding its impact.
Finding comfort in solitude.
Nothing that earlier seemed pleasing meant anything now.
Negative thoughts dominated life. Lost in my own ...in a deserted zone.

Did the problem solve with this change?
No, another set of problems emerged - confidence dropping low, no interest in job/work, no fun in family/friends’ outings.

Then one day someone shared news of an extended family member’s loss.That triggered a thought -this person who had passed away, had his share of problems maybe much bigger than mine but just like that with a tick of a clock, his life along with his problems ended.
I tried to imagine I was him, was the problem bigger or living itself?
The more I thought, the more I realized I was on the wrong track.

I decided to take a leap. Like an experiment, I did something I never thought I would.
This experiment changed my routine/surroundings and gradually my focus shifted from my problem to my desires, to my dreams, to my liking, to my life...

I am now back to being me, the ME I longed to BE

I haven't yet found the solution to the problem I had but it doesn't hold me back. I don't even see it as a problem anymore.

Whether you have tackled your problems or not, don't make it bigger than you.
None of us is blessed to be deprived of sorrows.
When you see a 'happy person' trust in the fact that this person is - 
a Phoenix rising back from the ashes!