I am not a loner.
Always found with friends and colleagues.
Hardly get the time to analyze what I am making of myself.
Yet in this busy life of mine whenever I observe myself I encounter this strange loneliness in me.
The moment i see it,i tend to tell it –‘Hey you really don’t belong to me’.
But alas it sticks there like a parasite, unmovable ,unquestinable,untraceably mine.
I often think to myself when everything is so logical in this world,there has to be some reason for its origin.
The question however lives an endless life.
Even when I walk a crowded street and I see people rush across.
Each one with their own story of happiness, own reasons of sadness and yet I see them carry this same loneliness in them.
Another series of question flow in , do they know of it? Or is it something I am imagining ?
Have never seen anyone talk of a thing like this.
Or does all this somehow goes unsaid?
Itz not about the vaccum that comes from some deep loss.
I am truly blessed with a loving family and friends,a nice job.
Life is perfect in everyway but yet this unreasonable little thing troubles me in a mysterious way.
Another wise thought i recall--
'A weakness when confessed remains weakness for no long'
I again make an attempt to face it upfront.
I concede to it ,tell myself that there is surely something wrong.
Plant a plan to remove this unwelcomed guest.
A little sweet moment with someone close will do me good.
Wash my face to shed off the painful thought but while i look at the face in the mirror
I still see the lonly me.
Then one cold morning i come across an old lady
Shivering to the wind that sway
Her eyes asking me for help
Although scared of a stranger, i ask her if she would like some tea.
A smile lit her face
and while that happened i was surprized to see
my unpleasing partner part his way
it's only then i understood a reason to the blankness i faced
The only solution to the emptness i felt
was to let humanity come into me and stay
For everything i ever did had a selfish end to it.
The little act of kindness
transformed the isolated me
into a ME i internally longed to be.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
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