The 2nd Chance

Let’s start with a situation where someone has failed to fulfill your expectations and broken your trust, in a  personal or professional setup.

How many chances are you willing to give to this person?

Scientifically, something that has been proven 3 times, is considered a fact. Being an engineer, I have performed experiments three times, to certain the results. So, my brain allows 3 chances.

Matters involving emotions are quite different though. While the concept of 2^nd chance is so common and easily quoted, will you be able to trust the person again?

Even one failed chance puts you in a zone where forgetting things and trusting the person, allowing a 2^nd chance becomes extremely difficult. 

Implying only one chance shapes most of our relationships and emotional ties.

Though I have also seen quite a few of my friends, giving unlimited chances to people they love. As a third person, I see them being taken for granted and heading towards more pain. I feel that they have been taken for granted and might never be valued by the other person.

Now let’s take a case that you are the person who, for whatever reasons, made a mistake and broke someone’s trust. You will desperately want a 2^nd chance. I would too, to make things right. Getting a 2^nd chance in this case seems just right doesn’t it?

My logical brain and emotional being has come to a compromise. I have capped things to 2^nd chance.

For me, the 2^nd chance is the deal shaper/breaker.Yes that means i will not hesitate to point out to a person that i am disappointed at the 1st go and will  walk away on a failed 2nd chance.

I will however like to know your thoughts, how many chances are you willing to give and what is your reason behind it?

Happy Birthday dear friend !

Having a friend is like having a support system

someone you can depend on

Having a friend is like having a shoulder

the one you can cry on

Having a friend is like having a smile

with those little moments that make everything worthwhile

Having a friend is like having a way to vent it out

the best way to keep your sanity on

Having a friend is having a confidant

a person who does not let you down

Having a friend is having a personal advisor

quite a bit to learn and get guidance from

Having a friend is telepathy in action

there is so much said just by a glance

Having a friend is having you in life  :)

and so i love to celebrate the day you were born

Happy Birthday dear friend !

(Wrote this for a friend on her birthday, just adding it here to keep in repository)

Long Way To Go!

Strangely the last few months have made me experience friction with a few people around me. One thing common about these people is the fact that I, in general, like them.They are good people and they excel in their skill.That triggers my instinct to observe , investigate and to pen this down ...

We have heard that with power comes responsibility but little do we realize that with power comes limelight followed by confidence and then gradually ego kicks in. Don’t get me wrong, taking pride in your achievements is required, however the moment you start marking your territory you start blocking people out.That ,even if it seems to work for a bit, is not sustainable.

We humans, were created to be social beings.Being reluctant to absorb ideas from others, not acknowledging their skill or effort  - cannot take you far. How much can you achieve stand-alone? Will people willingly support you if they dislike your behavior ? 

Collaboration is the key and I cannot imagine how anything can be worked out without emotional intelligence . We have moved away from the hierarchical style of working, this is one aspect adapted even in professional organizations.In this new era, how can anyone “order”/“demand” someone to carry out a task their way ? No matter what bond or relationship you share ... you have to convince and get the person on board with your idea, recommend implementation options, merge ideas from them into yours and work collectively.

Gone are the days when one person could dictate ...no one and absolutely , no one is tied to you.No matter how skilled you are. If you let your ego come in between, you will gradually start cutting out people from your support system.

In my case, even though I still like these individuals - i took a step back, it limited my desire to support them.I will rather invest my time in people who resonate with my thought process , people who believe that mutual respect leads to mutual gains.

My take away (and  recommendation to you if you are open to it ) is - try to keep things simple , stay humble ,harmonize with the world around you .No matter what you have achieved, this is not all , you have a long way to go !