Let’s start
with a situation where someone has failed to fulfill your expectations and broken
your trust, in a personal or professional setup.
How many chances are you willing to give to this person?
Scientifically,
something that has been proven 3 times, is considered a fact. Being an engineer, I have
performed experiments three times, to certain the results. So, my
brain allows 3 chances.
Matters
involving emotions are quite different though. While the concept of 2nd
chance is so common and easily quoted, will you be able to trust the person again?
Even one failed chance puts you in a zone where forgetting things and trusting the person, allowing a 2nd chance becomes extremely difficult.
Implying only
one chance shapes most of our relationships and emotional ties.
Though I have
also seen quite a few of my friends, giving unlimited chances to people they love.
As a third person, I see them being taken for granted and heading towards more
pain. I feel that they have been taken for granted and might never be valued
by the other person.
Now let’s take a case that you are the person who, for whatever reasons, made a mistake and broke someone’s trust. You will desperately want a 2nd chance. I would too, to make things right. Getting a 2nd chance in this case seems just right doesn’t it?
My logical
brain and emotional being has come to a compromise. I have capped things to 2nd
chance.
For me, the
2nd chance is the deal shaper/breaker.Yes that means i will not hesitate to point out to a person that i am disappointed at the 1st go and will walk away on a failed 2nd chance.
3 comments:
I agree with you fully.
I will mention that I have learned theoigh failing when it comes to this. I often trusted/loved way too easy.i let truly evil people have 7 or 8 chances. I let someone completely break my spirit before I realised what was beat for me.
I didnt let my spirit remain broken, it healed and I still love people. Sometimes now I found myself quixkly judging someone...but it has never stopped me from truly getting to know someone and always giving a chance.
If a second chance is needed I will give it but things will take time before they go back to normal.
I have been in both the boats
1) Where I have given numerous chance to same person but taken for granted every time but its me who can't say no if someone ask for anything :(.
2) Asking for second chance to prove myself innocent but didn't get that chance.
In my opinion it depends upon the situation and relationship that is going to get affected. If we are not able to forget about incident where your trust was broken then there is no point giving second chance because no matter how hard you try it is not going to fix your relationship. But there are situation where it is fine to give 2nd or 3rd chance and if it is giving opportunity to maintain one good person in your life then go for it. But if it happens after 3rd chance as well then I don't that person is worth our time. Its our life and we have all rights to remain happy and not get disturbed with someone else's behavior.
As many chance as required, if you love or want the person in your life.
Because a very wise and matured person said once, "Discontinuing efforts guarantees failure ,by trying you still have a chance to succeed and even if we fail ,we would not be left with “what if I did” in mind." - this needs to be applied in every stage of life :)
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